


Just Like The Stars, We Are a Constant

by AlienBro



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, At least I’m trying to make it slow burn, Jim is a bit of a mess as always, M/M, Mirror Universe, Romance, Slow Burn, Starfleet is evil but the characters arent, but not completely, but we love him anyways
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-05-17 03:37:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14824538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlienBro/pseuds/AlienBro
Summary: Although he detests Starfleet for allowing his home to be destroyed without so much as a shuttlecraft sent to help, Spock is the commander of the starship USS Phoenix. It is only logical. In order to change things in a structured organization, one must be in a position of power. However, the captain of the USS Enterprise, a small yet powerful starship named after a destroyed federation battleship, is about to change his mind.





	1. The Enterprise

**Author's Note:**

> Hmmm a multi chapter WIP that’s not a oneshot series. Look at me go. Anyways, have a space pirates (kinda) au. Thanks to my sister who’s my beta.

Spock’s shuttlecraft had been stranded for approximately five hours and forty three minutes. The shuttle had suffered a critical malfunction after it had passed through some sort of spatial anomaly. All systems, save life support, were offline. Even though some systems had survived the original malfunction, they had eventually been taken offline in order to keep the life support running as long as possible. Spock had sent out a distress signal before he had lost his communication abilities, but he doubted that anyone would come to his aid. Starfleet had been content to let all of Vulcan be destroyed by Nero, it was unlikely that they would rescue a single officer stranded in unoccupied space.

So, after confirming that the engines were indeed beyond repair, Spock sat at the consol and waited for his inevitable death by suffocation. Only, it never came. Instead, a ship materialized in front of the shuttle, capturing it in the tractor beam. Spock stood up, facing the shuttle doors in preparation for what was to come. He did not know who or what was abord the ship. As the ship was pulled inside some kind of shuttle bay, Spock removed his Starfleet uniform shirt, leaving only the black, inconspicuous undershirt. It was probably best not to align himself with any organization, given the general opinion of Starfleet - shared by Spock himself - was that they were a group of dictatorial military men who favoured violence over diplomacy. 

The doors were pried open forcefully. Spock stood, prepared for whatever he was faced with. As the door opened, he saw two men. Neither of them were dressed in uniform, and they both held phasers pointed in his direction. They glanced at each other, then back as Spock, before one of them jabbed the phased in Spock’s direction.

“Are you Vulcan or Romulan?” He demanded, eyes narrowing. 

Spock said nothing, surmising from the attitudes of the men and the area he was in that revealing himself as a member of an endangered species would be unwise. The two men said nothing for a moment, then the one who had spoken before jerked his weapon in a gesture to disembark.

“No matter. You look like a Vulcan and we’ll find out soon enough. Bring him to the holding cell.” The last part as directed outside, towards two other people standing outside waiting. 

Without any other alternatives, Spock disembarked and was herded down a passage by four phaser wielding humanoids. They marched down a second passage and into a room with what looks to be a large containment cell on the opposite wall. Inside was a single man, sitting on the floor. He glanced up at the small procession, uninterested, the returned to studying his fingernails. Spock was herded into the cell with little flair. The small area that served as a door slid shut, and he was left alone. 

The man sitting on the floor looked up at Spock, squinting slightly. He was dressed in what Spock would consider civilian clothing: black pants tucked into boots and a dark blue jacket. He was human, as far a Spock could tell. 

The man stood up, stretching his arms above his head, evidently he’d been sitting like that for a while. He walked over until he was approximately three feet from Spock. 

“I suppose I should thank you. This ship hasn’t slowed down in a few days, but I suppose the temptation of a new piece of cargo was too strong. Now my ship will be able to track them. We’ll be out of here in no time. I’m Dr. Leonard McCoy, but most people call me Bones.” The man - Dr. McCoy - held up his hand to form a ta’al. “What? You think I don’t know the difference between a Vulcan and a Romulan? I am a doctor you know.” 

Spock raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. Bones looked unimpressed.

“Well? You gonna introduce yourself?” He asked, mirroring Spock’s raised eyebrow. 

“I am Spock.” He said simply. 

Bones blinked a few times, stepping back. He look confused, but the look quickly passed. 

“Huh, interesting. Like I said, my crew will come get me. At least, they better. I’ve been patching them up for years, they’d better be planning on rescuing me from this tin can.” Bones grumbled.

Spock said nothing, content with silence. Bones looked agitated. 

“Just my luck. I finally get a cell mate and he’s a god dammed Vulcan.” Bones mumbled to himself, moving to sit down again. “Best sit down, this ship isn’t the smoothest traveller.” 

Spock decided to heed his advice, and sat down gingerly on the floor, settling into a meditative position. 

***

It was approximately seven hours and eleven minutes later when the ship jolted suddenly. People ran past, shouting commands. The ship shook again, and Bones stood up. 

“That’ll be them.” He said softly, bracing himself against the cell wall. Spock followed his example, standing against the wall in order to maintain balance. The air in front of them shimmered with some kind of transporter, leaving behind three individuals. They were all dressed the same was as Bones, in simple, dark clothing. A man in a leather jacket stepped forward, issuing a set of commands. 

“Chekov, get that device implemented in the engine. Uhura, you’re with me.” He called out. The shorter man with a mop of curly hair ran off, while the long haired woman stepped forward, moving towards the cell. 

Even if he hadn’t given the orders, Spock would have known he was in charge. The man oozed confidence and leadership skills, he knew exactly what he was doing and made sure everyone else knew that too. He turned, fixing Bones and Spock with a hard stare. The corner of his mouth twitched, then he grinned. If Spock had been prone to metaphorical descriptions, he would have likened it to a sunrise. 

“I thought you’d forgotten about me.” Bones grumbled from beside him, a matching smile on his face. 

Spock found himself staring at the man Bones grinning at. He was interesting, and Spock found himself getting curious about these people who had just rescued his cell mate. Spock looked away, noticing that the woman who had been standing with him had moved forward and was taking apart the control panel to the cell. She looked at the exposed wires for a second, then shook her head, grabbed them in her hand, and pulled the mess out of the wall. The door slid open almost instantly. Bones stepped outside immediately, grabbing the man in a hug. The woman - Uhura, Spock supposed her name was - fixed them both with an amused stare. Her eyes flicked back to Spock, questioning. 

The man with her released Bones and stepped forward, reaching into the cell and grabbing Spock by the lower arm. Too surprised to resist, Spock allowed himself to be pulled out of the cell. 

“I’m Jim.” The man said, his piercing blue eyes meeting Spock’s. “Who are you?” 

Spock almost didn’t reply. He was lost in the kaleidoscope of Jim’s eyes, staring into the swirling blue depths. 

“My name is Spock.” He replied without showing any of his internal turmoil. Jim’s eyes widened in surprise, one eyebrow raised. 

“Spock? As in S’chn T’gai Spock?” Jim asked, his confusion evident in his voice. 

“Yes.” Spock answered calmly, although his confusion mirrored Jim’s. 

“Well mister Spock, you almost make me believe in miracles.” He said nonchalantly, before he unhooked a small device from his belt and spoke into it. 

“Scotty? Get ready to beam us aboard. Sulu? As soon as we’re on the transporter pad I want us out of here.” He turned and glanced at his three companions, then spoke into the communicator again. “Chekov? You done over there?” 

“Da!” Came a staticky reply. 

“Good. Scotty? Six to beam back.” 

“Aye.” 

Jim pulled Spock close to him, his grip on Spock’s arm still not relinquished. Spock found himself oddly unbothered by the physical contact, despite his usual reservations. Jim glanced up slightly, a grin spreading across his face as they dematerialized.

 

***

 

They rematerialized on a transporter pad on an unknown ship. There was one other man present who had not been on the ship Spock was held captive on. He was standing by a control panel, allowing Spock to surmise this was Scotty, the man whom Jim had told to beam them over. 

Looking around as Spock stepped off the transporter pad, he found himself in a rather odd ship. The transporter room itself looked plain, but the technology it contained was odd. The control panel was a slightly older model still used in some federation ships, but some pieces of it were distinctly Romulan technology. The transporter pad looked to be federation technology as well. Jim seemed to notice Spock looking around.

“You like it? We made it ourselves. Scotty, me and a few others.” He said, looking proud of himself. “We have a pretty small crew, but we also have a pretty small ship, so it works out alright.” 

Spock nodded, his gaze wandering to the sliding door that lead out of the transporter room. Jim smiled at him again, softer this time. 

“Welcome aboard the USS Enterprise, Mister Spock.”


	2. Jim Kirk and His Lost Dramatic Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock meets someone interesting :-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two on time! Hopefully this story will pick up once people see I can actually keep to a consistant updating schedule.

“The USS Enterprise?” Spock asked. “Was that not the ship destroyed by Nero?” 

Jim nodded solemnly, his smile fading slightly. “Yeah. Captain Christopher Pike and the USS Enterprise, the only ship to come to Vulcan’s aid when the planet was being attacked by the Narada. He and Commander Winona Kirk disobeyed a direct order from Starfleet. They were destroyed in the battle, but they saved over a thousand Vulcan citizens by giving them time to evacuate. The Enterprise saved a lot of lives, and she should continue to do so. Plus my friend suggested the name, said it just seemed right.” 

Jim turned towards the people still in the room. Uhura and Scotty were conversing quietly, while Chekov watched from the sidelines. Jim pointed at each of them in turn, naming them. 

“Nyota Uhura, communications; Montgomery Scott, engineering; and Pavel Chekov, navigation. You already know Bones, our doctor, and I’m James Tiberius Kirk, captain. There’s some other people on board and I’ll introduce you to them in due time, but first I’ve got to make sure Sulu didn’t break my ship.” Jim rattled off, pausing slightly before he finished. He turned to Spock, beckoning him to follow, then walked out the doors.

As Jim walked through the corridors, Spock following close behind, they crossed paths with two more individuals. Christine Chapel, the only other medical professional on board, and Carol Marcus, the ships science expert. As they walked, Spock contemplated the man in front of him. He was certainly an enigma, with his self assured look and commanding personality, he seemed like a natural born leader. Spock also knew that he must be the son of George Kirk. He knew that Winona and George Kirk had two children, neither of whom had joined Starfleet. Spock also knew the pain Jim must have felt, his father dying so soon after his birth, and his mother dying aboard the Enterprise. It was almost poetic that they met aboard the new Enterprise, as the old one had been destroyed in an incident that killed both his and Jim’s mother. 

That brought Spock to his true sorrow of confusion: why Jim had trusted him so completely upon meeting him. Jim knew Spock’s full name, so they evidently the must share a mutual acquaintance, but Spock had never before met someone like Jim. He was sure that if he had, he would have remembered it clearly. He could not understand why Jim smiled at him so softly, as if they were old friends, and lead him around the Enterprise while Jim introduced him to the crew. The questioning glances they gave him had not been missed either, and Spock was beginning to wonder if these people had known of him somehow, based solely on the reactions of Jim and his crew mates. 

The doors hissing open announced their arrival on the bridge, where three other people. Chekov, the Russian who could not be older than twenty, and Nyota Uhura, the communications officer who had spoken to Spock in fluent Vulcan, had arrived before them. There was also a third human sitting with Chekov at a computer, talking quietly as he tapped at the screen. He glanced up from his work when he doors closed behind them, a small smile on his face. 

“Captain. I take it Bones is back on board?” He said, one hand raised in an informal salute. 

Jim smiled softly, shaking his head fondly. “He sure is.” He paused for a second, then turned to Spock. 

“This is Hikaru Sulu, our helmsman. He drives the ship and sometimes captains when I’m off doing stupid stuff. Sulu, this is Spock.” He said, addressing each of them in turn. Spock did not miss the fleeting confusion on Sulu’s face and the questioning glance thrown in Jim’s direction. Jim gave him a look that seemed to imply that he’d explain later, then turned back towards the doors. 

“I’ll be down in the Science Labs if you need me. Spock, if you would.” He said, gesturing for Spock to enter the turbo lift. As the lift descended, Jim began to speak. 

“The ship used to be a federation battle cruiser, modelled after Klingon birds of prey. It was designed to be run mostly by computers, with a crew of about ten to keep it running. It was equipped with enough weapons to hold its own, but nothing fancy. It’s a pretty small ship after all. It was originally called the USS Excalibur, a stealth ship. We took it over, ripped out half the interior, and rebuilt some of it with pieces of other ships. Mostly federation tech, but we took some stuff from an abandoned Romulan vessel and we have a few stolen pieces of Klingon tech: including a cloaking device. Scotty’s a genius, he designed most of the modifications. I helped here and there, and so did the rest of my crew. We were originally going to call it the USS Bounty, because we stole it from the empire, but one of our crew suggested the Enterprise. That ship was important to both of us, despite the different parts of played in our lives.” Jim finished his quick history lesson as the doors swished open. He lead Spock into a corridor, which was bordered by doors. 

“This is the living quarters deck, where most of our rooms are. We also have a science lab down here, which used to be a storage room.” He pointed at a door that they passed, then at its neighbour. “That’s my room, and that’s where you’ll be staying for now.” 

Spock said nothing, still trying to process the events of today as well as deduce the reasons behind Jim’s actions. Unbeknown to him, he was about to discover it. 

As Jim stepped through the doors at the end of the hall, Spock following close behind him. Inside was a small but impressive laboratory. It was occupied by a single person, an older looking man who’s back was turned on the door. He appeared to be busy working on something at one of the microscopes. He did not look up when they entered, nor did he give any indication he knew they were there. He was wearing a set of grey robes, unlike the rest of the crew, and seemed to have an air of calm about him. 

The thing Spock found most surprising though, was that the man in front of him was Vulcan. 

Jim stepped further into the room, coming up beside the man. Spock did not move. 

“You’ll never guess who I found on that bounty hunters ship.” Jim said, a mischievous gleam to his eyes. The older Vulcan straightened up, tiring to look at Jim. 

“Doctor McCoy, I presume.” He said, a hint of playful sarcasm in his tone. Jim looked affronted. 

“Well, yeah, but also someone else. Someone familiar if I’m not wrong.” Jim said, leaning against the lab table. The older Vulcans eyes crinkled slightly, an almost imperceptible smile crossing his face. 

“Doctor Marcus has already informed me my younger counterpart is abord the ship.” He said, turning to Spock, who had not moved from his position near the doorway. 

Spock heard Jim say something about his dramatic reveal, but he was no longer listening. Staring at Spock was an older Vulcan with remarkably human eyes that Spock had only ever seen once, in himself. He stepped forward, one hand raised in a ta’al. 

The younger Spock said nothing, standing completely still. The elder Spock glanced over at Jim, a small smile on his face. 

“I believe my younger counterpart will need some time to process this.” He said, casting a slightly concerned glace to younger Spock, who was more shocked than he had ever been in his life. Jim nodded, walking across the room and grabbing Spock’s arm, pulling him towards the door. 

“Right. I’ll find you some clothing and then leave you be.” Jim said as he lead Spock to the room he had pointed out earlier. 

It was perhaps testament to Spock’s mental state that he did not reply, nor did he protest the hand on his arm. Although Spock had to admit that, even if he had not just encountered an older version of himself, he probably would not have removed his arm from Jim’s grasp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y’all liked it! Catch me over in tumblr @not-chrispratt and chat with me about Star Trek! Leave me a comment and brighten my day!


	3. He’s Gay, Jim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock gets to know the captain of the Enterprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is a little short, sorry about that but I had a lot going on these past two weeks and didn’t have much time to write.

Spock spent the next three hours meditating. The majority of that time was spent trying to process and dismiss the emotions felt during the last day, while simultaneously trying to process his new reality. 

The door chime interrupted Spock’s musings, and he stood up to answer. The door slid open, and standing outside was the elder version of himself. He nodded at Spock then stepped past him into the room, setting a small pile of clothing he was holding down on the bed. 

“While in this universe I have been using the name Selek, which you may address me as if you wish.” He said, turning to face Spock. 

The younger Vulcan nodded sharply, not trusting himself to speak. Selek moved to leave, but stopped just before he walked through the doors. 

“I am not surprised that you found your way here eventually. In all the universes I have visited in my admittedly long life, I have never once found one where Jim and I had not found each other.” He said quietly, before he turned and left. 

Spock stood in place for another minute after Selek’s departure. He was still a bit unsettled, but the meditation had soothed the worst of his emotional turmoil. It had been an interesting twenty four hours, to say the least. 

Spock moved over to the bed, sitting down and looking around the room. It was fairly empty, most likely because - up until recently - it had been unoccupied. Spock moved to lay down, deciding sleep was his priority for now, when the door chimed again. 

The door slid open and Jim stepped inside. 

“Hey. Just wanted to see how you’re settling in. Is everything ok? Do you need anything?”

Spock kept his gaze level, ignoring the trill of excitement he felt as Jim spoke. 

“It is acceptable.” He said, his voice betraying nothing.

Jim laughed awkwardly, one hand raising to scratch the back of his neck. 

“Well, I’m glad. I got Sp- Selek to bring you some clothing. It’s nothing special - sorry - it’s just some of my stuff. It might fit a bit weird but it should work for now. Anyways, I’ve actually come here with a purpose. We’ve diverted our course so that we’re going to be passing by a colony. We can drop you off there.” Jim looked over at Spock, his eyes shining with playful humour. Spock wanted desperately to stay aboard the Enterprise, and something instinctual in him told him to grab onto Jim Kirk and never let go. However, he had a mission, and he would not abandon his goals to make a difference for this ship full of rebels. 

“Thank you.” Spock said, still impassive and calm. 

Jim nodded again and moved to leave. He took a few steps towards the door, but stopped short. 

“Do you maybe want to play chess with me?” He asked quietly. “I’ll have to go if there’s some kind of emergency, but otherwise I’m totally free for the next six hours. Besides, it’ll be about three weeks until we reach the nearest colony, so we might as well entertain you while you’re here.” 

Spock nodded, accepting the offer. Jim smiled again, and Spock once again found himself staring shamelessly at the captain who seemed to radiate golden light. 

Jim beckoned for Spock to follow, and he did. 

***

Jim’s quarters were similarly designed to Spock’s, only with added personality in the form of the odd decoration and some paperbacks stacked on the desk. There was also a beautifully made glass chess set, which was sitting on a small table, already set up. 

“I’ll confess I planned to ask you to come play chess with me, I don’t usually have this set up all the time.” Jim chuckled, shifting awkwardly in place. 

He pulled out a chair and sat down, gesturing to the other. Spock sat down across from him, and then proceeded to lose four of the five games of chess they played. 

Jim played chess without any discernable strategy or logic. He made moves seemingly on a whim and without pattern. It required a large amount of concentration for Spock to play well, and that too was becoming an issue. Jim was illogically distracting; his gentle movements, natural charisma and quiet laughter distracting him to the point where Spock was paying closer attention to Jim than the game.

The human seemed to be amusing himself with pestering Spock, albeit gently, seemingly to no end. However, rather than hearing in his nerves like most would, Spock found Jim’s gentle teasing almost amusing. More than that, Spock found himself, to his surprise, attracted to him. 

It was this troubling realization that caused Spock to decline the offer to “reclaim his dignity” as Jim put it, and retire to his quarters. The few days had been eventful, and although he required far less sleep than humans, Spock found himself grateful to finally fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Catch me over on tumblr @not-chrispratt. Leave me a comment and brighten my day!


	4. A Universal Constant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I know this is a day late but this week has been very busy and I wanted this chapter to be longer to make up for the last one.

The next few days were spent interacting with various members of the crew, as there was very little to do aboard the ship. Spock found himself speaking frequently with Nyota Uhura, who he had discovered was a genius at xenolinguistics, possessing some interesting observations about the links between linguistics and culture. Had they met in a different situation, Spock thought they may have even been friends. 

Then, there was Jim. Spock had accepted another offer of chess two days after their first game. Getting to know the captain of the Enterprise was something Spock had found himself devoting much of his time lately. It was puzzling because he knew that their time together was finite, but Spock could not help the fact that he was somehow, illogically, fascinated with Jim. 

Pondering this conclusion as he walked down the halls, Spock nearly missed the snippet of conversation he could hear as he walked by the doors to the science lab. Stopping just out of sight, Spock began to listen to the voice he recognized as Jim’s. 

“- absolutely nothing alike, even though you’re technically the same person.” 

“You must understand, Jim, that I am much older than he is. I have become accustomed to my human side, I have accepted it and found a balance between my emotions and logic. He is young, and - much like myself at that age - is attempting to fit into a mould in which he does not belong. He values logic above all else, and refuses to accept his human heritage. He sees it as a fault, whereas I do not. You must accept that the two of us are very different.” The elder Spock was silent for a moment, then he spoke again, sounding almost hesitant. “There is a distinct possibility you are t’hy’la, as I have not yet encountered a universe where we were not.” 

“Does that explain why I feel like... like this.” Jim asked, beginning to sound distressed. 

Spock moved away, walking briskly back towards his quarters. This revelation certainly changed things. 

Spock had never even considered that he could have a t’hy’la, that somewhere in the universe there was someone that was perfectly compatible with him, as if they were made for each other. 

The idea of Jim being his t’hy’la was plausible, but not necessarily true. The elder Spock hailed from another universe, and it was perfectly possible that while his Jim was his t’hy’la, the Jim in this universe may not be. There was nothing that Spock could think of that either confirmed if denied the theory, which should have prompted Spock to investigate the matter further. However, somehow it didn’t. 

Spock had somehow, during the last few minutes, come to the conclusion that the feeling that so often appeared when Jim was around was attraction. Spock was not interested in Jim from a scientific, professional or social standpoint. He was illogically attracted to the captain of the Enterprise, with no real way of knowing how or why. It should have been a shocking realization, yet Spock was almost relieved by it. Now that the emotion had a name, he could categorize it, and understand it. Spock could do the same thing he did with the rest of his emotions: push it away without letting it effect him. 

***

Apparently, Spock could not suffocate the emotions that appeared along side Jim Kirk. He had tried, over the next few days, to quell the love that pressed against his conscious, but to no avail. The feeling deep in his chest refused to be extinguished no matter how much mediation he performed. It grew and moved like some sort of parasite, threatening everything he’d worked for over all these years. 

Spock told himself he did not want a t’hy’la. He did not want the distraction, the vulnerability, that came with having a mate. But something in Spock pulled him closer and closer to Jim Kirk every moment they spent together. It pulled him close enough that he told Jim if his plans, his work. He told him about working in Starfleet, the very thing that had allowed the death of both his parents. Jim was kind and sympathetic, and he related to him. They talked about their mothers, both lost to the destruction of Vulcan, for a long enough time that Spock somehow found himself trusting Jim with his emotions that he felt deep down: the pain surrounding the loss of his homeworld and his family. 

Spock tried in vain to avoid Jim after this, but he was not strong enough to deny Jim’s offers of chess or dinner in his quarters, and the more he learned about the man the farther he fell. 

***

A week away from the star base where Spock was to disembark, something snapped. 

They were playing chess, again, after finishing dinner together. Spock could almost feel the tension in the air, like there was something they both knew but couldn’t say. Jim gently caressed one of his knights, seemingly deciding whether to move it or not. Spock kept his gaze firmly fixed on his own pieces, trying not to stare.

Jim glanced up at Spock, then down at the board, then he dropped the knight he was holding and violently shoved the board to the side, standing as he did so. Half the pieces were knocked over, some of them tumbling off the board. Had he been human, Spock might have jumped.

“Are you going to do anything about it or what? Are you just going to stay quiet the whole rest of the trip, get dropped off at the star base, and go back to trying to dismantle the system alone, or are you going to admit to me that there’s something between us.” Jim said, leaning across the table. Spock stood up, posture straight. He said nothing, and a concerned look began to flit across Jim’s face.

“Or I’m wrong, and you don’t have feelings for me and are about to walk out that door and refuse to leave your quarters until we dock at the base.” 

Spock moved to speak, thinking uncharacteristically slow. Jim stepped to the side, there was no longer a table between them. He was within arms reach, and Spock couldn’t think of anything but what Jim’s mind would be like. What he would kiss like. 

Spock had never been one for impulsive decisions, but he found himself closing the gap between them, wrapping his arms around Jim and pressing their lips together. Jim made a muffled sound of surprise, before he threaded one of his hands through Spock’s hair and rested the other at his waist. Within seconds, and without any conscious decision, Spock’s hand made its way to Jim’s face, resting lightly on his meld points. Jim pulled away long enough to voice his consent before they were falling. 

Spock knew that he had made a mistake the moment he melded with Jim. He would not - could not - lose this bright and beautiful connection that was forming before his eyes. Jim’s mind was almost golden in its radiance, full of emotion and intelligence that Spock had once underestimated. Now that they had melded, Spock could no longer imagine life without him. 

Spock emerged from the meld slowly, becoming aware of Jim’s forehead resting against his own. He was uncharacteristically silent, his lips quirked in a small smile. Spock could feel the contentment through their contact, but it seemed stronger somehow, like it was amplified. 

“I can still feel you.” Jim whispered. 

Spock stepped back quickly, breaking their contact. He could still feel Jim, his confusion tinged with hurt as he opened his eyes and looked questioningly at Spock. He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped when he Spock interrupted him.

“I am sorry, Jim. I should not have allowed that to happen.” Spock said, his eyes downcast as he tried to force away the shame he was feeling. 

Jim took a step back, and Spock could feel him going through emotions faster than the speed of light. confusion, then hurt, then anger. Finally, loathing, directed at himself instead of Spock. 

“Right. I get it. I’m sorry if I forced anything, I’ll just let you leave now.” Jim said, stepping to the side to allow Spock access to the door. 

Spock stepped towards Jim, grasping one of his hands gently. Urged on by the spark of surprise across the bond, Spock spoke. 

“You misunderstood. I do not regret kissing you, Jim. Quite the contrary, in fact, as it was a most enjoyable experience. I should not have melded with you, because I fear I have accidentally created a bond.” Spock paused, but the hopeful look in Jim’s eyes urged him to continue. “Jim, we are t’hy’la. We are so uniquely compatible that upon melding with you, I accidentally created a bond linking our minds. For this, I am sorry. Telepathic bonds are not often desired by non Vulcans and I would not unwillingly the myself to another. I believe if we leave the link alone it should fade with time.”

Jim looked around, chewing on his lower lip. He breathed in, in preparation to speak. “What if I don’t want to break it?” 

Spock shoved down an almost overwhelming surge of joy, and replied. “You do not understand. We would be connected together in a way that transcends human marriage. The link would allow us to feel each others emotions, and to communicate telepathically. It is not something you can take lightly” 

Spock wanted desperately to stop arguing. He wanted to let Jim agree, to allow them to be linked together. But Spock could not tie himself to Jim if he did not first inform him of the bond, and of what it entailed. 

“I want to Spock. I know this seems a bit rushed but that’s just what life is like for me. I’m drawn to you in a way I can’t describe. This bond, this thing we have, feels so right that I can’t imagine anything else.” Jim said, reaching for Spock with his free hand. He rested it on the back of Spock’s neck, pulling him closer so that there was only centimetres between them. “Do you want to?” 

“I would want nothing else, ashayam.” Spock whispered. 

“What does that mean?” Jim asked, his face scrunched up. 

Spock placed his hand in Jim’s face, lightly resting his fingers over Jim’s meld points. “Beloved.” He answered. 

Jim smiled, moving forward slightly to close the gap between them and capture Spock in a kiss. When he pulled away, Spock could feel Jim’s joy, through their contact and the bond. 

“Do you want to complete the bond tonight?” Jim whispered, as if he was afraid to speak too loudly least he damage the fragile feeling in the air. 

Spock blinked in surprise. He had not expected Jim to understand the nature of their bond so quickly. Unless...

“Other you told me. At least, whatever I could get him to tell me. He told me that t’hy’la bonds were able to form naturally, and he only told me this so that I would be aware if we accidentally bonded or something.” Jim said, placing his hand over Spock’s. “Meld us. If you want to, that is.” 

Spock paused only momentarily, as he assessed the situation. Allowing thief t’hy’la bond to cement itself would endanger his work, his goals, and everything he’d been trying to do all these years. Yet, leaving Jim was an impossibility now that he knew what they were to each other; however Spock suspected he could not have left Jim even if they were not t’hy’la. No, Spock would not be leaving Jim for as long as he lived. He allowed his hand to find Jim’s psi points and whispered the words he knew so well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! The next (and last) Chapter is already written I just need to edit and post it, so it should be up sometime next week! Catch me over on tumblr @not-chrispratt and come chat with me about Star Trek! Leave me a comment and brighten my day :)


	5. How Wise We Grow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I know I said this going up sometime next week but the chapter was finished and edited so I don’t want to just sit on it for days on end. Anyways: enjoy!

Spock could feel Jim waking up, his side of the bond coming alive. Jim’s eyes blinked open, and he turned his head upwards to meet Spock’s gaze. 

“Watching me sleep?” He asked softly, his voice still gravelly with sleep. “That’s a little creepy.” 

Spock allowed the corner of his mouth to twitch upwards. “I had little choice in the matter, ashaya, as you are lying on top of me.” 

Jim made a noncommittal noise and snuggled closer, wrapping himself around Spock. He closed his eyes for a second, as the sadness that had been more and more apparent be on to filter across the bond. 

“Do you really have to go?” Jim whispered. “You could just stay here and be space rebels with us. With me.” 

Spock pressed a kiss to Jim’s forehead. “I do not wish to leave you, ashayam, but I have worked hard to gain the position I have in Starfleet. It is an advantage I do not want to lose.” 

Jim sighed. “I know, babe, but I’m going to miss you.” 

Spock carded his hand through Jim’s hair, projecting a sense of comfort through the bond. “This will accomplish much more than me staying here, but I must admit... I will miss you too, my James.” 

Jim smiled, pressing a quick kiss onto Spock’s chest. “You know using my full name turns me on.” He said, sitting up and slinging one leg over Spock, moving to sit astride his thighs. Spock sat up to match him, another almost smile playing across his face. 

“I am aware, t’hy’la.” 

Jim moved his hands to Spock’s face, holding him like he was precious. He looked at Spock for a moment, his eyes watering slightly.

“I love you.” He whispered.

“I love you too.” Spock replied. He had not said that before, at least not in that way. Spock preferred to communicate romance in his own language, but he knew that this time may be the last time Jim heard it from him for a very long time. 

Jim leaned over and kissed Spock’s forehead. “Come on, babe. We best get going. We’ll be docking within the hour.” 

***

-one year later-

Captain Spock of the USS Titan sat calmly in the captains chair, issuing orders at a rapid pace to his first officer, Commander Huxel, who was trying desperately to follow them. 

They had run into the smaller vessel about twenty minutes ago, when it had de cloaked and started to fire on them. The shots did nothing, but Spock had guessed they were only a warning. They had prepared to destroy the smaller ship when, out of nowhere, all systems save for life support, short range communication and transporters had shut down. 

“Captain, the enemy vessel is hailing us.” Lieutenant Commander Lee called out, hands dancing over the control panels in front of her. “Should I comm Admiral Marcus?” 

Spock stood up. They were taking the admiral to a meeting, yes, but he wasn’t officially part of the crew. “Negative, Lieutenant Commander. On screen.” 

The screen flickered to life and the crew was presented with a man sitting casually on a bridge of a starship. He was smiling slightly, sitting in a manner that looked incredibly relaxed. His smile widened, looking almost wolfish. 

“I am Captain Spock of the federation ship USS Titan. You will surrender your ship to us, or we will destroy you.” Spock said, his back straight. The rest of the crew collectively held their breath, hopping their captains bluff would work. 

The mans eyes flickered to Spock, looking almost predatory. 

“Greetings Captain Spock. I’m Captain James T Kirk of the USS Enterprise, and I would like to ask you how your going to destroy us with no weapons, shields, or long range communication.” 

Spock said nothing. 

Captain Kirk’s smile widened. “I thought as much. Now, if you want to avoid being destroyed, I suggest you do what I say. Beam your captain aboard my ship for... negotiations. If all goes well, I’ll consider letting you live. You’ve got five minutes to comply.” 

Commander Huxel leapt forward as Spock walked towards the turbolift. “We’re not letting them get you.” He snapped to Spock, who had already started towards the transporter room. “You know too much.” 

Spock turned, looking at the rest command team. “There is little they could do to pry information from me. I am Vulcan, and am therefore equipped to ward off telepathic invasion. I can withstand a great deal of torture. If I surrender myself, the rest of you shall live.” 

Commander Huxel looked like he was going to say more, but Spock spoke before he could.

“The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one, Captain.” He said, before the lift doors closed around him.

The newly christened Captain Huxel spin around to face Kirk, who was watching them a with a raised eyebrow that seemed uncomfortably familiar. After a minute, the air behind him shimmered, and Spock appeared in the transporter beam. As soon as he materialized properly, he stepped forward to stand directly behind Kirk’s chair. 

Lee was the first to vocalize what the entire bridge team was thinking. “What the hell is going on? Why’d they beam him over there?” 

Kirk raised one hand with his two first fingers held up. Spock mirrored the gesture and pressed his fingers to Kirk’s, the slightest hint of a smirk on his face. 

“Welcome back, baby.” Kirk said.

Captain Huxel dropped the padd he was holding. 

“Want to know why all your systems except the ones I wanted to use got shut off? Your Captain is telepathically bonded to the federations most wanted rebel. Now, in about two minutes the device Spock planted in your computer systems will shut off what’s left of the computer, leaving you stranded in space without anything but life support. Maybe Starfleet will find you, maybe they won’t. It doesn’t matter to me, I’ve got bigger fish to fry. Now, before I go, you better tell Admiral Marcus that if he makes it off that ship alive, I’m going to come for him, and he’s going to regret the day he turned his back on Vulcan. Kirk out.” 

The transmission ended, and Jim stood up. “Sulu? Take us out of here. Keep an eye on my ship, and only call me if there’s an emergency. I’m going to go celebrate having my husband back on board.” 

With that, he grabbed Spock’s hand and pulled him towards the doors. 

Spock knew that there would be other battles to fight, and that they might lose some of them. He knew they might all die tomorrow. The federation wasn’t going to crumble at the loss of one ship, and there was more work to be done, but Spock also knew that now, he had Jim by his side. 

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> I’m going to be headed out on vacation this week and the next so I probably won’t have much time to write, but when I get back I’ll finally be back to my regular work schedule and so I’ll have much more time to write. I already have a story finished, all it needs is editing, so that one will be up in a few weeks. I’ve also got three small stories on the go, and more oneshots for my oneshot series! So you can expect more from me when I’m back in two weeks :). Anyways, thanks again for reading! Catch me over on tumblr @not-chrispratt. Leave me a comment and brighten my day.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I’ll try to keep to a regular update schedule, there’ll be a new chapter up biweekly until it’s done. Catch me over on tumblr @not-chrispratt and I’ll talk to you about Star Trek! Leave a comment and brighten my day.


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